As with issue 1, this issue had some work done to it between written and typed versions as well, such as eliminating scenes, moving dialogue, and even adding an entire page. Another major area where changes occured was with the length of dialogue. Wherever possible, I shortened the dialogue in order to let the images tell the story.
So, without further delay, some sample pages
The above page illustrates the diagrams I mentioned in my last blog post, showing the basic layout of the panels for the illustrator to follow. In most cases the artist would not have to follow such a strict, plain, grid format, but this is just a basic idea of how I would like the page layed out.
Although there is dialogue scratched out in the above, I have shortened it even more in the typed version.
Again, this page shows another page layout sample. Going by this sample, it may look like this page would have 11 panels, but even with these sample diagrams I have changed how I wanted it to look, and the middle 6 really represent 3 tall panels.
The astute viewer will notice that the panel sequence on this written sample goes from 2 to 3 to 2 again. This has been corrected in the typed version, and shows how caught up I was in just getting the story written on the first go around.
Here is a comparison of a written page to its typed counterpart.
Page 6
Panel 1
Hero leaping down into an alley from nearby building. Night.
Hero Caption: “Day four and I still haven’t found her”
“I dread what I will find when I do”
Panel 2
Hero crouched next to a dumpster, yawning.
Hero Caption: “I’m exhausted. Been working on little sleep lately”
Panel 3
Side shot of Hero starting to pull off mask
Hero Caption: “Time to get home and rest up”
Panel 4
Behind Hero, view over shoulder out into the mouth of the alley to see the sidewalk, see a well dressed man walking by with 2 others in tow
Caption: “When I see him, the thoughts flood my brain”
Thoughts: “We will control this city soon”
“Death will to the enemies of the Villain”
***AUTHOR'S NOTE: Established in Issue 1 that the Hero can read people's thoughts***
Panel 5
Closer on men walking by, still see good portion of their bodies
Hero Caption: “I finally get a lead”
“the biggest I'll next to tripping over the Villain”
Panel 6
Close on side profile of the lead man, just before he is no longer visible behind the building
Hero Caption: “I’ve stumbled upon Conspiro.”
“The Villain’s right hand man”
A lot of the minor changes in this issue related to continuity items. When I first wrote the issue I still had 3 issues to write after. Now that I am going through and know exactly how the book is written, I can go through and tighten everything up.
As a side note to this post, but somewhat related, the new blog post at idrawdigital relates to comic and graphic novel writing, so check it out if you are at all interested in this topic or field.
As always, any comments, criticisms, or words of encouragement are greatly appreciated!
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